The Story of How Psycho Panda Came to be

One day a panda named Ping-ping was walking down a street in Honolulu, Hawaii. It was looking for its favorite treat, Seasoned Roasted Seaweed. Suddenly an old woman pulled Ping-ping into a dark alley. "If you answer a riddle I will give you what you most desire." said the Old Woman, "For I know everything about you Ping-ping, and I wish to help you so that your life may be filled with happiness and fortune. Just answer my riddle and you can have whatever you want. Each incorrect answer will cost you a dollar, though, but you may stop at any time. And remember this: your deepest desire may not be what you really think it is. Now choose my panda, will you answer my riddle or leave, always wondering what would have happened if you did try to answer my riddle. Choose" Now, Ping-ping wasn't used to making decisions on his own. His older siblings always decided where to go, what to eat, what to buy, everything. Ping-ping made the choice of answering the riddles. He would only use up two dollars (out of five) so that he would still be able to buy some seaweed if he got the riddle wrong.

"I will answer your riddle, Old Woman. But I only have two dollars to spend."

"A wise choice Ping-ping. Here is your riddle. What does no man want, yet no man wants to loose?" This is a tough question thought Ping-ping.

"Hmm…no man wants it…. and no man wants to lose it…hmmm." mumbled Ping-ping, "I know! Wait, no, never mind, that doesn't work. Hmmm, hmmm, hmmm. What about a job? Nobody really likes to work, but once you have a job you don't want to be fired. That's it! Old Woman, come here! I have found the answer to your tricky riddle."

"Now really? You think you have the answer? Well, out with it young panda. What's the answer?"

"No man wants a job, but no man wants to lose his lob, either. That is my answer- a job."

"I'm sorry Ping-ping, but that is incorrect, for I love to work. To work is my life, and I love it. Will you guess again?" (The Old Woman had a very hopeful look on her face when she said this.) Ping-ping said yes for he had another idea. He was thinking about bald heads.

"A bald head. That's my final answer, a bald head." Ping-ping answered without a pause. He was so absolutely sure of this that he was already jumping up and down with excitement.

"Wha…how…uhh...you… you… you got it!" stammered the Old Woman, "How? Do you have hidden psychic powers I don't know of? Tell me how you found the answer! No one else has ever solved it! What is your secret?"

The young panda proudly answered the Old Lady; "You should take that picture of that bald man- over there- down. Pictures make people think about what's in the picture. So in this case- a bald head." Ping-ping then gave the woman a dollar and waited while she looked deep into his soul.

"Here is what you desire the greatest. Here is your container of Seasoned Roasted Seaweed. I have gone to the trouble of adding a special ingredient to it so that you will stay healthy. Just eat three a day, for ten days and you will never get sick again. And here is another container of seaweed, but it is your regular kind. Have a nice day, oh smart one." Then, *poof* she disappeared. So for the next ten days Ping-ping ate three seaweed helpings a day. At the end of the tenth day a miraculous change happened. Ping-ping's eyes grew very large and he started doing very psycho things. When his friends came over for a party that evening, they found Ping-ping acting weird. From then on he was known as Psycho Panda. Psycho Panda had many adventures, and still does! You can buy Psycho Panda Treats (also called Seasoned Roasted Seaweed) at a Family Food market in Hawaii (I don't know if it is sold anywhere else.) and it is manufactured by Two Suns Manufacture Co., Ltd. And watch out, or you might turn into a psycho, too.

© Cailah DeRoo


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